Lolly Reminiscing

As the English Country Dance Masters, I met dear Gail and Leland in 1987. My first husband, Lee Johnson, and I began attending their delightful classes and soon progressed to my sewing costumes to join them at different Balls and dance performances. Gail and I had to refer to each of our very tall, lean husbands as “your Lee” or “my Lee” to lessen the confusion! It took me longer to grasp the dance steps, but my Lee was a natural and we four become tender friends.
In late 1995, after the wintry accident that suddenly took his life, both Gail and Leland wonderfully helped me in coping as a new widow. So that I would not be all alone, they kindly even took me with them to the York, PA dance weekend over the following Thanksgiving. It was my first “missed” wedding anniversary without my own Lee of fifteen years. The friendship between Gail and I continued to deepen, often “doing lunch” or attending various local events together.
Over three years later, when I married David Hoover, a father of four older children, both Leland and Gail were warmly supportive. As I furiously sewed three new costumes, all of those in our Staunton Dance Group helped David and his two youngest teens to learn dances in time to attend the next Ball. I am grateful that my new family were honored to know Leland his final years.
To encourage Gail, David and I continued with the dance group until a new job, with long and often unpredictable hours, caused David to become overly weary on Friday nights. By then, my own joint arthritis was giving me fits as well, so instead, I began visiting Gail at home every week. It was a privilege to be a part of her “back-up family” now that she was all alone. In 2005, Gail and I even went on a fantastic Celtic trip together touring sights in Luxemburg, France, Ireland, Wales, and Scotland.
Whenever a newborn foster baby came into our home, “Grandma Gail” loved cuddling and holding each of one of them. Like me, sweet Gail had never been able to give birth to a baby of her own, so we both delighted in hugging these tiny infants for several weeks before they were adopted away.
She and I often went to Rowe’s for lunch between working on different projects to benefit the English Country Dance group. Under her guidance, we updated the dance group’s sound equipment. Then, Gail allowed me to mend and label her own and all of the “loaner” costumes/accessories. I had to alter/reconstruct several to better portray the correct time era, and then sewed about five more outfits for the group’s use. Next, we put most of Gail’s records onto CD’s and cross-indexed all of their songs and those of her many audio tapes. Lastly, we sorted and indexed a huge amount of Gail and Leland’s dance instructions and related historical books.
Near the end of that project, Gail began utilizing the Home Instead Care Givers at her home 24/7, and later at Ruxton. Since I could no longer be alone with my friend without one of them there as well, I chose to take the training myself, so that I would be assigned weekly (or more) to be of help and company for dear Gail. Thursdays feel very strange and lonely without her to go visit now. Sweet Gail was always spunky and full of gratefulness towards others. I miss my cheerful, kind-hearted, friend and look forward to seeing well and happy “up yonder” someday!
---With Love & Warm Hugs, Lolly

The Dancing Never Stops

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

Hi Debbie,

My name is Sandy Sathapornwongkul. I'm a former student of Mary Baldwin College, and spent two of the best years of my life in the MBC Performing Dance Group (2001-2003). Gail Ticknor was one of many people who taught me the joys of English Country dancing and always amazed me with her kindness and her energy (I did not meet her until she was well into her 80s)

I made a PowerPoint slideshow while at MBC for the Ticknor Tribute Ball in March 2003. This slideshow was in honor of Lee Ticknor, so some of the early pictures in the slideshow are of his family and his life prior to his meeting Gail.

Best,
Sandy

(Editors note: I couldn't post a PowerPoint Presentation, but with a few minor modifications, I was able to post this in Smilebox. Please note: there are over 70 pictures! Thanks, Sandy!)

I Lied

 
 
 
 
I told Gail's sister Laura that I wouldn't put her pictures up on the internet. After getting to know the family, I realized that this is the type of promise that was not only acceptable to break, but somewhat expected. The first three pictures are of Laura, her baby sister. The last one is Laura with her two sons, daughter, and daughter-in-law. I am sorry it is so badly out of focus.

Scotland

I was with Gail for three weeks in Scotland in 1966, squeezing every day for the history and geography of the Cowan / Colquhoun clan and the land our ancestors had left centuries before.

After returning to Pittsburgh, Gail asked me to help her with a project she had in mind. She had volunteered to give a slide show on Scotland for the local chapter of disabled persons. She wanted to share the beauty she had seen with others who could not have gone themselves. I got to run the projector as she let our pictures show her love of a land so far away in time and space. It was a generous act, and generously received.

Rob Goldsmith (nephew)

Quite the Charmer!

I last saw Gail when Lee died. I was out in Virginia and when I left I asked her if she would be OK. She said "Yes Dear, I have some good friends." A couple months later I called her and asked if she was OK and if there was anything I could do (even though that seemed ridiculous, me being so far away). She again reminded me that she had many good friends. I'm ashamed to say that with my own kids taking more of my time, I never called again. I glad to hear that she really did have "good friends".

Gail always seemed so "refined" to me that as a young boy I always felt I needed to be extra good for Gail. I was part of a rough and tumble family of mostly boys and Gail was so calm. We would visit them in Pennsylvania when Lee worked there, the "Gailees" being our closest relatives. Gail would have "Life" cereal for us, a special treat compared to Cheerios and oatmeal. She always seems delighted to see us and never got upset when we broke something or get perturbed by all the extra work that arrived at the door.

And Gail and Lee would delight us kids by coming to our house in Ohio for Christmas. A tradition in the house was that the kids would make Christmas morning breakfast for the grownups -- even the bad oatmeal and the green and red sugar for the morning coffee didn't phase Gail. I remember her saying, "It certainly makes the coffee look different, but it's still sugar... Right?" One Christmas they brought Scottish ties for all the men. Another -- my favorite -- they gave me a globe. Not a small one, but a large wonderful, real globe. Just like in school. As I opened it I saw Gail looking at me with a twinkle in her eyes.

And they also followed us up to Canada for camping and fishing. There was "Gail's cove" when she caught an extra large bass -- I would have my Dad tell me that story every year when we fished there. The last time I remember them coming up to Canada, they were to stay in my tent. I had a little "two-person" tent that you had to crawl in and out of. One morning they awoke to find they had slid down to the door and the screen on the door had ripped away. Gail felt terrible and showed me what had happened, then asked if she could fix it for me. She then spent hours working on that door, doing tiny stitches by hand to repair the damage. The rest of the tent fell apart, but that door remained perfect. At the end of their stay Lee had a good case of poison ivy on the inside of his forearm, and Gail, laughing, admitted she had a duplicate area of poison ivy on her belly, where Lee had hugged her as they slept. (I think of that sign of lov e often as I age.)

Gail seemed to transform as seamlessly into the camping as she did Christmas at our house, or a large intrusion into her house. I guess, to me, that was her charm. I don't think of her fitting in, but she always did. I saw her as a muscician and a dancer, but for us kids, she was a charming Aunty Gail.

Larry Ticknor, Nephew

From Debbie's Daughter Dianna, age 18

I feel honored that some of those pictures are taken by me! It hasn't hit me as hard, being across the country, that she's gone because I wouldn't be seeing her anyway. But I definitely will miss her!

I remember going with my mom to visit her in the hospital and at her house and how she always smiled whenever someone came in the door. I remember how she noticed I was a lefty; she wanted to be one too! Gail had tried to become a lefty as a kid because "they were the ones who got all the attention!" She was right! I do get attention and I love it!

I remember when someone would ask her if she wanted something. Sometimes she would reply, "Yes." Then there was a pause and she would correct herself, She would say, "Yes, please" Putting emphasis on the please and acting as though she were disappointed in herself for being so impolite! It was so cute.

She loved her crosswords and impressed me with her excellent vocabulary. She knew every single one. Whenever I was stuck she and Janet could always help. She's the only reason I ever even attempted to do crosswords. I remember the way she laughed and her head would bob in this funny way as she laughed quietly. It reminded me of when she played recorder. She was so cute when she played that too and did an excellent job.

I'm grateful for the time I spent with her. I'm grateful to have met someone as awesome as she was. The huge impact she had on my mom's life drifted into mine as well. I learned a lot from her and will definitely always remember her. I could never forget her and her adorable little mannerisms!

Does This Look Like Fun or What???

Gail and Lee are at far right in this view of an historic dance performance in front of Stratford Hall Plantation on the banks of the Potomac River, some time in the 1980s.

John & Cathy Millar, Williamsburg

Thoughts from Protege Tamara Funk

If it had not been for Lee and Gail Ticknor and the caring community of
people who danced in their basement, I am not sure I would have made it
through my college years in Williamsburg.

I arrived in Williamsburg to attend William and Mary in August 1982.
September and October were tough months - I was homesick, suffering from
culture shock, and losing weight rapidly because of the horrible food
served at the college in those days. I wasn't sure I could cope with
another semester, let alone another three and a half years.

Early in November, I saw a flyer announcing English Country Dancing at
107 Indian Springs Road. Indian Springs Road was an easy walk from my
dorm! I had done some eighteenth-century dancing at the National Park
where I volunteered back home and always enjoyed it. I went to the very
next class meeting. Soon I began attending Scottish Country Dancing as
well. Ticknor’s basement became my refuge.

When it came time to sign up for second semester classes, I did not flee
in dread. I had a community to turn to; I would make it.

Last year when my husband and I finally decided to look for a house, we
laughed about wanting a house with a big basement where we could have
dancing, just like the Ticknor’s house in Williamsburg. Much to our
amazement, the perfect house, with the perfect basement, was waiting for
us. When we finish the work that needs to be done, we hope to emulate
Lee and Gail’s example.

I won’t be at Gail’s funeral because I live so far away now, but I will
most assuredly be remembering her just as warmly as if I were. As it
happens, I will be attending an English Country Dance weekend at
Folklore Village at the time. What better way could I find to honor
Gail’s life than by participating in one of the activities she shared
with me and with so many others throughout her life?

For the past few years, I have run a small fundraiser for Folklore
Village during English weekend. This year the donation will be given in
Gail’s memory. Thank you, Gail, for helping to make the world a better
place for this bewildered little college student, not just for the four
years I lived near you, but for my entire life!

Memories From Gail's Nephew Don Ticknor

When I was growing up in Ohio, all of my Aunts and Uncles lived far away. The "GaiLees" - my Aunty Gail and Uncle Lee lived closest, and perhaps because we saw them most often, they were my favorites. Occasionally we visited them in Pennsylvania. Much more often they would visit us, especially at Christmas. The visits were always a treat.

Somehow, Gail seemed a special individual. She reminded me of fine china which needs and deserves special care and respect. If I misbehaved with her I would feel especially ashamed of my callousness.

In spite of my perception of her fragility, Gail (along with Leland) visited our family numerous times at the far end of Little Silver Lake in Ontario, Canada. I did not think of Gail as a person who would chose to camp out, and sleep in a tent, and count on the skill of those who are out fishing to put dinner on the table. But she did all that, and she also went in the boat with a fishing rod in hand to contribute to the evening fare.

Ever since I can remember, the big cove just across the lake from our campsite was called "Gail's Cove" for the time she hooked a really big bass there. One year Aunt Gail and Uncle Lee even brought the venerable Mrs. Cowan (Gail's mother) along to our vacation spot. I realize now what a huge act of spirit and toughness that actually was!

I will especially remember my Aunt Gail for this kind of spirit. She showed me how civility, politeness, and consideration for others can be perfect companions to a great toughness of spirit, and zest for life.

Gail's Favorite Charities

Many people have asked about a charity for contributions in Gail's honor.

Gail made everyone feel special, and spent hours each week giving money to many charities. I asked her several times which ones were her favorites, and she promised to get back to me on that.

I would suggest, if you are a dancer, give a donation to the dance group you were with. Recorder player, the recorder group. Musician, historian, AARP member, YMCA member, etc. Donate to your appropriate memory in her name.

She seemed to particularly enjoy local charities where she could see the good being done, such as the local Food Bank and Habitat for Humanity. She also loved her church. The Lloyd Shaw Foundation certainly comes to mind as well.

As for other charities, she has a particularly soft spot in her heart for soldiers and children.

If you represent a group that Gail loved and supported, please add a comment and I will publish your name and address here.

*************

The bell choir at her church needs the bells refurbished. The address is Central United Methodist Church, P O Box 953, Staunton VA 24402. The phone number is 540-886-3441. The choir director is Sherry Von Oeyen.
*************

Gail's Round Hill Recorder Consort needs some new costumes for new members. Contributions can be sent in her honor to Round Hill Recorder Consort, c/o Hazel Heisey, 22 College Woods Drive, Bridgewater, VA 22812. 540-828-6328

Gail's Pictures

 

 

 

 

Learning about the Civil War

 

Love the Llama!

 

Playing at Natural Chimneys Park for Medieval Festival

 

Gail

 

Gail and Leland Ticknor

 

Madrigal Recorder Group

 

Gail is in pink

Good Bye Gail

While I was on an extended stay out of the country, the thought kept coming to my mind "What about Gail?" Gail, in her late 80's, had never had children, her husband had died, and she lived alone. We were in a Madrigal Recorder group together. Most of the members were elderly, but Gail was special to me. We had known each other for thirty years.

Gail said what she missed most about her husband was his telling her to go to bed at night. She said without that, she frequently puttered along until 3 or 4 in the morning, and then was upset with herself the next day. Gail went to the YMCA, sang in the church choir, was Vice President of the local AARP, enjoyed her Bible study group, taught English Country Dancing twice a week, and volunteered at several historic societies.

As soon as I returned home from Europe, I called her at 10:00 pm and told her to go to bed. She laughed her delightful laugh and said "Oh, thank you dear. Yes, I must."

The next night, I called again and asked what time she had gone to bed the night before. "Well, it was three o'clock, but I will try harder tonight." And try she did. Little by little she started going to bed earlier and earlier. This made it easier for her to get to her YMCA exercise class without "rushing"!

I found she needed help with going to the doctor, organizing her medicines, learning computers, buying groceries, and getting a new microwave and television when they broke. I assured her that I had "adopted" her and would be her daughter until God separated us.

She already had two fake hips and a fake knee, so she decided to go for the complete set. She had her last knee replaced and I visited her every day in the hospital. She was so loving and appreciative. She had an infection that wouldn't go away. We had caregivers come in to watch her and help with her meals and take her to the hospital for daily infusions of medicine. Still, I called every night and told her to "Go to bed."

Gail and I were not of the same faith, and I was respectful of her beliefs. I called her pastor and asked him to make sure she had a Bible study she could attend. When none was available, she studied with another group.

I asked her one day what she thought happened to someone when they died. Her face lost all of its joy as she said darkly, "I know the answer to that. We all dissolve into a big mass of spirit." She almost cried.

I tried to look up what happens to you when you die on the internet according to her faith. Nothing.

I asked a minister of her faith. He snapped his fingers. "Just like that" he said.

"What happens just like that? Where do you go? What happens to your spirit?"

He snapped his fingers and said "In a twinkling of an eye. Just like that" and winked.

I asked her if she really believed she turned into nothing, and if she could feel her dear husband's spirit watching over her. She admitted she did. We discussed how people could interpret different things from the Bible, but there were many other interpretations as well. I told her to listen to her heart. She was happier. She now had hope in death.

My daughter moved 1000 miles away to go to college. I missed her terribly, but we discussed how her phone calls and letters let me know she was happy so it was easier to let go. We discussed how it must be in heaven and how much nicer it would be if her husband could get her a message saying he was happy!

Little by little she grew weaker. Her caregivers brought her gifts and fussed over her. She was so delightful that everyone loved her.

She would tell the unbelievable story of how she used to be cranky and intolerant and decided in her 50's that she needed to be nice to other people, so she chose to change. It is hard to imagine her not being sweet!

There was a ball given in her honor. She was too sick to attend.

She started reaching out for her husband in her sleep and calling his name. She developed a serious cough and was unable to eat or talk.

We took her to the hospital, but her heart gave out. The doctor asked her if she wanted him to keep her going artificially. She asked him to let her go. I held her hand as she quietly passed away. I know she is now dancing with her husband in heaven. It is over.

I feel I ought to cry and have regrets, but there are none. I am grateful for all the blessings I have received in a relationship that was at times a burden and a responsibility I didn't "have" to do. But the overwhelming blessings of this special friendship cannot be measured in mortal terms. I am happy to have listened and obeyed the still small voice that told me she needed someone to remind her to "Go to bed."